Birth: A Father’s Perspective Part II

This is the story of giving birth from a father’s harebrained outlook. I have two wonderful children, McKinley and Hudson. My wife, Katie, did 99.9% of the birthing work. Here is the story of child-rearing from my point of view:

Read Part I-McKinley Edition Here

Part II- The Pregnancy Stick (Hudson Edition)

If you read part one, you realized that Katie and I wasted an exorbitant amount of time and money on pregnancy tests for our first child, McKinley. Two years later, we went after child number two. As I have come to learn, the second child gets the short-end of the stick in multiple areas (sorry Hudson). As a second-child myself, I speak from experience. I can only imagine that this only goes additionally downhill for the third child and beyond.

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Just a Few of Many Areas Where Second Children Get the Shaft:
1. Clothes and Toys. You are going to get all hand me down clothes if you are the same gender as your sibling. In some cases, you will get the hand me down clothes of your opposite-sex gender. For instance, Hudson was gallivanting around the snow this winter in a pink, cheetah print snowsuit.
2. Automobiles. If you are the second child, and your sibling goes off to college, you most likely will just get their car. For instance, after my parents sold my Jeep (that is another story) without my knowledge, I had to drive Copper. Copper was my sister’s 1982 Mazda Piece-a (A Mazda Piece-a is a name for a type of Mazda that was a real piece of you know what), and it was named after its color. I had no say in getting Copper, it was just forced on me. I know I sound a little bitter. I should have just been happy that I had a piece-a, instead of no piece-a at all. Anyways, Copper only lasted a couple months with me, before I killed it on a mountain in West Virginia.
3. Bumps and Bruises. When your first child falls down, you coddle over them like they just broke their neck. When they sneeze, it’s like they have the Bubonic plague. When the first child cries, most parents feel that they will need psychiatric help for the rest of their life. None of this carries on with the second child.
4. Finding out you are pregnant with a second child doesn’t cause the same amount of craziness as finding out about the first child. This isn’t to say that the excitement level goes down, we were just as thrilled with both kids. You will see below that we were now professionals at finding out that Katie was pregnant.

Hudson’s Pregnancy Stick:
After going through McKinley’s pregnancy, Katie had now become a wiz during her pregnancy with Hudson. She didn’t need an ovulation calendar, because she had it memorized in her brain. There wasn’t the same fear in the air about whether she would become pregnant. There was a newly found confidence in everything pregnancy related the second time around. You could look at this week’s Super Bowl. Katie was the wide-eyed and nervous Cam Newton with McKinley. When it was time for Hudson’s pregnancy, the old sheriff, Peyton Manning version of Katie, was in town.

hudson2.jpg

We didn’t find out that Katie was pregnant with Hudson from the friendly confines of our Ardmore home. We found out at Mellow Mushroom! We had some friends in town from Ohio, and we were waiting for our tables, when Katie said she felt like she might be pregnant. I guess you can call it mother’s intuition, because I had no idea what she was talking about.

I thought Katie would want us to go home, and she would send me back and forth to the drug store to get a hundred pregnancy tests of all shapes and sizes. Instead, she looked into her purse and said, “Actually, I have a test in here.” Her friend goaded her a bit, and they decided they should just go into the bathroom at the restaurant, since we had to wait anyways.

In the words of my late friend, Richard, “that really weirded me out.” In fact, everything girls do together in the bathroom together majorly freaks me out. McKinley is only five, and she already goes into the bathroom with friends and does peculiar things women do in there together.

So, Katie went into the bathroom with her friend like it was no big deal, and left me at the bar at Mellow Mushroom, wandering about how one person can change so much in three short years. She came out with a big smile on her face. She hugged me and cried a little bit, but these weren’t Mississippi River tears. They were more like Silas Creek tears. Katie didn’t make me run down the street to the CVS to awkwardly get a bunch of different kinds of tests. She was perfectly satisfied and convinced that she was pregnant, and she was right.

Obviously, Katie learned a lot after her pregnancy with McKinley. I just became more confused!

Coming up: Part III-The Birth of McKinley

 

 

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